Why Those Who Are Against Sex May Enjoy It the Most

Religions have both unfavorable and favorable views of sex.

According to surveys, religious people frequently enjoy sex more than their secular counterparts.

Unmarried couples who cohabit are the group with the highest levels of sexual satisfaction.

Religious perspectives on extramarital sex and sex as a goal in and of itself are frequently antagonistic.

However, research suggests that those who are religious enjoy sex more than those who are secular.
How is this even logical?

Sex and religion

Because religion plays such a significant role in our lives and because religious beliefs are frequently hostile toward sexual pleasure, the relationship between religion and sex is intriguing.
Love is regarded as one of the most profound and sublime human expressions in many religions.
Despite being essential to romantic love, sex is, on the other hand, sometimes perceived as involving impolite and demeaning behaviors that reduce the partner to a mere object.
As a result, religion frequently adopts a negative attitude toward sex for sex’s sake (such as casual sex) and restricts the value of sex to a certain goal, such as marriage and reproduction.

But from where does this disdain for sex for sex’s sake come?
Could sex for the sake of sex be accepted by religious organisations with certain restrictions?
Although there are discrepancies among different religions in regards to this issue, two mindsets are shared:
God made everything to be extremely wonderful, including sexuality, yet it’s also true that sexuality may be harmful in many extreme situations.
Therefore, it is strongly advised to practice chastity and continence, which are virtues that help to limit one’s sexual hunger and increase self-control. Promiscuity is strongly discouraged.

These presumptions are reflected in the Catholic Church’s assertions that procreation and unitiveness are the two main good ends of sexual activity.
Chastity is highly valued, and priests and nuns pledge to live celibate lives.
Sexual fulfillment is restricted in Jewish tradition to the use for which it was intended: sex inside marriage.
Therefore, while having sex just for sex’s sake is strongly against the law since it undermines marriage, sexual promiscuity is not.
In light of this, the Jewish faith has the commandment requiring husbands to have intercourse with their wives even when there is no chance of conception.

Empirical conclusions

How do the discussed religious perspectives on sex affect religious people’s sexual satisfaction?

According to the 2019 World Family Map, a couple’s level of religious commitment may have an impact on how satisfied they feel during sexual encounters.

As a result, the likelihood that women and men in very religious relationships (couples who pray together, read the Bible aloud, go to church, etc.) would report being sexually happy was twice as high for women and four times as high for males compared to their secular counterparts.

Nitzan Peri-Rotem and Vegard Skirbekk (2022) discovered in a recent study that religiosity is associated with generally better levels of sexual satisfaction.
The frequency and quality of sex between religious married couples is likely to increase because religious people are more inclined to consider sexual closeness inside marriage as having divine attributes.
Religious couples who consider their union sacred are more inclined to adopt attitudes and make investments in behaviors that improve their marriages.
These include a stronger level of dedication, making decisions that support the relationship (such as showing kindness, love, and tenderness), and prioritizing time spent together, all of which support marital sexual fulfillment.

As a result, the connection between sexual frequency and sexual satisfaction is neither clear-cut nor easy.
It has been shown that having too little or too much sex lowers sexual satisfaction, indicating that there is an ideal frequency associated with greater fulfillment.
In this regard, individuals are frequently more focused on the caliber than the amount of sex (Peri-Rotem & Skirbekk, 2022).

What about monotheistic unions?

Secular couples face a more difficult time achieving sexual fulfillment since they typically value casual sex and other forms of sex that don’t involve marriage.
However, the greater significance that religious partners assign to their sexual interactions, which is a key factor in sexual happiness, may also be seen in heterosexual couples.

According to Elyakim Kislev (2020), marriage is not always conducive to sexual fulfillment in the general population.
Married couples actually perform poorly in this area.
On the other hand, unmarried couples who cohabitated consistently displayed the highest levels of sex satisfaction.
Therefore, having a companion is more helpful to sexual fulfillment than marriage.
Low levels of sexual satisfaction are caused by the declining importance of marriage in the secular community.
In addition, Kislev contends that research on committed, long-term partnerships shows that women report higher levels of sexual satisfaction than do men.
This demonstrates that women regard long-term relationships more highly than men do.

The function of intimacy in sexual fulfillment provides insight into how important the lovers’ attitudes toward sexual activity are.
I’ve maintained that having strong bedside manner requires two essential characteristics: technique based on knowledge and closeness based on emotion.
Knowing when, how, and where to touch your partner as well as when, how, and what to say to your partner are examples of knowledge-based techniques.
More complicated, emotional intimacy encompasses intense connection accompanied by sentiments of shared belonging.

Finally, a few words

It would appear that couples who pray together not only stay together but also experience more satisfying sex.
This is because meaningfulness places a high priority on romantic love and sexual gratification, among other things.
The importance of sexuality is more closely related to the important attitudes that are linked with it than it is with the behavior itself.
For religious individuals, everyday occurrences have a deeper meaning since they are seen as an expression of God’s will and intention.
The idea that God orders marriage to be the exclusive setting for sexual activity makes it more significant, intense, and profound.
Of course, this does not imply that people who are not religious cannot find great satisfaction in their sexual relationships, but rather that they should share other meanings, such as the intense intimacy connected to sexuality.

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